Saturday, August 27, 2011

Football - It's That Important

Football is pretty important in our house. And that's putting it mildly. If you remember last year, we missed what turned out to be a very important banquet because some idiot scheduled it on draft day.

And while we L. O. V. E. real football, fantasy football is a very close second. You may remember my family's preferred decor from last year's fantasy football "preseason".

And it's that time of year again. It's ridiculous really. (We went out to eat while on vacation and the waitress gave us paper placemats. The boys immediately took this to be their invitation to write up a mock draft while we waited for our food. Gotta be prepared right?)

So I'm not sure why the events of this week were surprising really. I called Lowell while on the way home from an appointment and he told me he'd been working on his draft. And then I hear the smoke alarm. And no Lowell. So I rush home to see this:

The smell hits me before I can get to the door. And I walk in my house to see two firemen and an unimaginable mess. I said, "Smells good honey, what's for dinner?" (The firemen thought this was funny. Apparently most wives would be freaking out. Not sure what it says about our life that a fire in the kitchen is a little thing.)

Did you know that if you put a kettle on and then go get so engrossed in your draft that you forget about it, the tea kettle will catch fire? And oh, if it has a plastic handle it will completely melt into the stovetop? And that those microwave doors melt? And that if you spray a fire extinguisher, you will find the dust in every drawer and cabinet in the room and somewhere in every other room in the house? It's all true. I know.

But no worries. The kitchen may have burned up but the fantasy football rosters are safe. And isn't that really what matters??

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Our Beach Safari

We just got back from a MUCH NEEDED vacation to the beach (thanks G-Dad!). We stayed in a really nice condo, but the decorations were a little, well, crazy.

I am totally that person who walks through TJ Maxx and sees all the cute beach decorations and thinks, "If I had a beach house, I'd definitely be buying that." Because there is A LOT of cute beachy decor out there. I get it. However, our condo wasn't just beachy.

It was almost as if Ms. Condo owner walks through TJ Maxx and thinks, "If I only had an African Safari home, I'd buy that." And then decided to go ahead and buy it anyway because, hey, what doesn't go with beach theme????

So this was our home away from home for the week.

Really nice furniture, but don't miss the parrots nesting on top.

And who doesn't want to bathe with an anchor, sea shells, African elephant, and Mr. Scaryface? He was all over the place.

But no worries, we also had Jesus by the bed.

I love Jesus, I really do. But it's still a little weird for me to have an image of Him by the bed. (He was screwed to the wall by the way.)

Here's another good example of "it just doesn't go together." (Don't miss the parrot heads peaking out behind the flowers.)

And how's this for fancy?

And how's this for, well I don't even have a word for the spiral cat sitting by the lighthouse. Odd, maybe that's the word I'm looking for.

I guess I'd choose sleeping next to Jesus and African idols over frogs.

And doesn't every beach house need a good wasp's nest over the tv?

Notice the note on the corner of the mirror. It said, "Do not recline sofas. They are screwed shut." And although this would have been sufficient there were at least eight other places that had similar notes.

Like the entertainment center.

And the lamp.

And the curtains.

And the refrigerator.

And I don't even know why we were surprised to open the pantry door and find another. But we were.

They REALLY didn't want us to try to recline the sofa.

So we didn't. Although they certainly made it tempting.

So our accommodations were at the same time weird and wonderful and all in all we had such a great time.

Doing a little physical therapy (you had to be there).

Catching crabs by the bucketful! I swear I am reminded of the story of Noah as he opened the doors to the ark and the animals came. I think Joshua just has to put his net in the water and ocean critters just jump in. We had crabs all week. He caught jellyfish like crazy. And also several of these:

I get the heeby-jeebies just looking at it. (It's an electric ray by the way).

Lowell built me a sand, uh, wall? I guess. And the whole time the waves were crashing over it the children's church song about the wise man building his house on the rock kept playing in my head.

And we had fun dinners out with extended family.

And we ended the week all tan and refreshed and relaxed.

And now back to reality...

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Let Me Just Say...

That I would oh so much rather wake up every morning to this:

Rather than this:

(that's a radio that was thrown at me)

And rather than this:

(and this one would be hair grease smeared around every coil of the stovetop)

And rather than this:

(This would be chocolate ovaltine mix that was dumped on the floor and left "chocolate milk" footprints EVERYWHERE!)

And rather than this:

Yep, a beach vacation is EXACTLY what I need...

Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Full of Glee

I'll admit it. I'm a closet "Glee" watcher. I'm not going to say I'm proud of it. But I do watch. For those who don't watch it's a high school show about the drama that is high school. The show centers around the school's glee club and each individual's search to find where they fit in. Of course, since Glee Club members are often not the most popular students in the school, these kids endure lots of harassing/bullying. One particular form of harassment exclusive to these students is to be "slushee'd" or "slurpee'd" or whatever the term. Essentially, a football player takes a frozen slush-type drink and throws it in the faces of the Glee Club member at random times.

So all that background leads to a personal experience for me last weekend. On Saturday, one of the staff from next door runs over and yells that they need help. One of the ladies in that house is having a bad day and has chosen to take out her frustrations on the other folks in the house as well as the house itself.

So I rush over and the other staff all go outside. I'm staying relaxed and making jokes and thinking that the situation is calming down when here it comes. Not a slushee thank goodness, but it was a whole pitcher of red Kool-Aid. Thrown right in my face. And the first thought that came into my mind was Glee. And how I'd have to admit that I watch it. Because this is funny. (I did get a little peeved later when i had to throw my shirt away.)

I was able to get most of it out of my shoes! Good times. Good, good times.