Would this constitute an "emergency"????

When Joshua went to swim camp in Austin, Texas a few weeks ago and called me in a panic due to having had around $50 stolen from him room. Since he was flying, I had sent him with extra "emergency" money for the flights. He had not had to use any of that, so I told him to go ahead and spend what he had during the week and that I would get some money to him for the last day and flight home.

I checked into overnighting some money, but it would have cost me around $30 to send $20 to him, so I wasn't really big on that option. I talked to some friends whose child was also at camp. They were driving to pick their daughter up and would arrive on Thursday night before camp concluded on Friday. I called my mom and had her take some cash over to them before they left and when they arrived they found Joshua and gave him the money before he left for the airport. I wasn't really worried about him needing a lot of money on his flight, but he did have a layover in Dallas and you just never know what might happen when traveling and I didn't want him left with no money and no options. So I felt better knowing that he wasn't traveling broke.

Having wiped that from my list of anxieties, I didn't even think to ask him about it when he got home. However, several days later, I asked if he spent the money in the airport or if he still had it. He responded that he had a couple of dollars left, but had an "emergency" in Dallas and had to make a purchase.

This is what he bought:



It kind of reminded me of my early college years, back before everybody had a cell phone and my mom bought me one for emergencies only. I know I used the phone quite a bit and I'm pretty sure there was never an actual emergency. But I guess when you are 13, the NFL Special Edition Fantasy Football magazine is pretty urgent!

Last Week's Quotes

From the guy with two kids - "My son is really good looking, and my daughter is, well, uh, you know, she's real smart."


Me: - "I'm sorry we can't go out, but we have to be quarantined due to Joshua having the swine flu."

One of the guys: "Ain't you guys ever heard of Halls or Vicks 44? Those'll take care of it."

The porn king: "Now see, I'm not one of those guys who looks at porn just for the fun of it. I have other reasons."
(like.... are you working with the FBI or something we don't know about??)

or how about this one: "Did you know if you shower a lot, your hair grows faster?"

And finally, after the house had been completely torn up, one of the guys pops up with, "I think he may need a few more pills." Uh, yeah, you think???

Have You Hugged Your Kid Today?

Because I guess we didn't have quite enough going on, you know, living in a group home and all, Joshua came home sick from swim camp. His plane arrived on Friday evening and he was really tired. I totally was expecting him to be tired though. He'd been away from home almost three weeks and swim camp is intensive. He also had a cough, which concerned me a bit, but I wasn't too worried.

However, on Sunday night when he said his head was banging and he was dizzy and thought he was going to pass out, I got a little worried. Lowell took him to see a doctor the next morning. Joshua called me from the doctor's office and said, "Mom they think I have swine flu." I immediately responded with, "Oh they do not! What are they really saying?" When Lowell got on the phone and confirmed that this was not some sick joke, I could hardly believe it. Really??? Swine flu?? Really??

When Joshua arrived home, he was feeling really silly wearing a mask, which he was told he had to wear if he went out in public. Needless to say, he chose to stay home rather than wear the mask out again. I do so wish I had gotten a picture when I had the chance.

So, doing what we felt was the right thing, we notified our supervisor and were quickly informed that the whole house was quarantined. This meant we couldn't go out at all, not to the grocery store, not to get the daily pop from the Quik Trip, not to go to the afternoon workshop that one of our guys lives for, etc. Not out at all. This also meant nobody came in. So we were on our own with no additional staff in a house infected with swine flu and with three guys who weren't sick and therefore did not understand why they were stuck at home. It only took about a day for us to second guess ourselves and wonder why we didn't just keep the news to ourselves and go on about business as usual. It was a rough week!!

But my favorite part of the week was when the lady from the Health Department called and asked about a zillion questions about where Joshua had been, what he had done, and then many more questions about our health and travels. I laughed out loud when I heard Lowell responding to the question of whether he has been around any animals. Lowell's response - He catches snakes a lot and apparently caught a bunch of crawdads in the creek in North Carolina.

But my favorite series of questions had to be: "Have you shared a meal at the same table as him?", "Have you had contact with his laundry?" and the best, "Have you hugged him?" I mean are there really people out there who say, "Well goodness no, he's got the swine flu, so we locked him in his room and are sliding food under the door! Haven't touched him or his laundry!"

Lowell answered "yes" to each of the crazy questions. He didn't mention that not only have we hugged Joshua, but that I've slept in the same room as him just to be sure he is breathing okay at night.

Joshua is feeling better and hopefully this week we will be able to get back to what we consider normal. But I know I will laugh any time I see one of those "Have you hugged your child today?" bumper stickers.

They Call It a Boxer's Fracture

But apparently you don't have to be boxing to get it. The frustrating thing about the outburst a couple of weeks ago is that he has really been doing sooo well. And we really aren't sure what happened. We do know he doesn't like change, and we do have a new roommate, two new weekend staff, we are getting a new house, his day staff at the workshop is leaving, our supervisor resigned, and Joshua was out of town for three weeks. I guess not being able to verbalize his anxiety over all this built up and he just let it out in the form of tearing up the house.

Everything was going along as usual, until he popped up out of his chair and tossed the television. (Never a good sign of things to come!) He was fighting all of us and completely unable to see reason. I'm sure there would have been some excellent video footage had someone had a camera, as Lowell, our day staff, and I circled the room trying to protect him and ourselves. At some point in all this he tried to kick me and I put up a hand to stop him. So technically maybe it was my fault. (I do have a certain family member - who is a little bit crazy - who used to accuse another family member of hitting her if he put up an arm to block her hits and she happened to get a bruise, but that's a whole other story.) Anyway, as I tried to block the kick, I heard my little pinky finger pop about four times. I also felt something odd happen.

After he settled down and our supervisor arrived, I made my way to Prompt Care, where I was told it looks like a Boxer's Fracture. All I could think was "could there be a more appropriate name for it, except maybe 'crazy guy came after you and kicked at you fracture'?"

When I got home with my fingers all taped together, he looked at me and said, "What happened to your finger lady?" I said, "Why don't you tell me?" To which he quickly responded, "Oh, yeah, you hit me." I had to turn and walk away.

Later, as our day staff was taking him out, I am told he was in the van blowing me kisses saying "Love you Header, miss you!" I can honestly say I wasn't really feeling the love, and didn't miss him too terribly much.

Anyway, now that explains why no blogs the last couple of weeks. Not easy to type when your fingers are all taped together. Finger is healing though so hopefully I can soon get all caught up on how things got crazier as the week went on.

"Fill in your name here" is a Superstar!

One of our guys really enjoys getting mail and it is a powerful motivator for him. Several months ago, one of the behavioral analysts made him a sign (we joke that it's a billboard as it is rather large), laminated it and put it on a lanyard for him and stuck it in his mailbox. He doesn't wear it every day, but we've noticed that when he does, he often draws attention - wearing a billboard will do that - but it is great attention. People will say, "I hear you are a superstar!" or "You must be a really special guy to get a sign like that!" or "I wish somebody thought I was a superstar!" or "Nobody has ever thought I was wonderful enough to make a sign like that for me." These conversations leave him elated and encouraged. So today he was wearing this particular "necklace" (as he likes to call it) and it made me realize that sometimes we all need to hear that we are superstars to somebody. So to all my friends reading this blog, fill in your name and know that I think you are a superstar! (And yes, he is wearing a Razorback shirt. We are gonna have a house full of hog fans yet!)

I Wouldn't Change a Thing!

Joshua left last Wednesday to go to North Carolina for a ten day vacation with his G-Dad. He will go from there to Austin, Texas for a week at swim camp before he returns home on July 3.

Solely due to Southwest Airlines' cheap flights, we decided to let him fly alone on these trips. I have to admit, I was a nervous wreck on Wednesday waiting for him to board his plan. Of course I acted like I wasn't nervous a bit, because I think Joshua was already anxious enough for the both of us.

He was so relieved, as was I, when the plane landed and he immediately saw his G-Dad. So relieved in fact, that he let his mind totally relax and forgot to get his luggage. Yep, not entirely sure how one forgets to go claim their baggage after exiting a plane, but he did. When he called me an hour later and was on the way back to the airport, he was really upset and feeling stupid. It was a little hard to contest that, but being his mom, I assured him that this is something that happens sometimes and he shouldn't worry about it. (I mean, I am sure that at some point in the history of flight, someone else has walked out of the airport sans luggage, right??? Maybe??)

Once they arrived in North Carolina, he forgot about the luggage incident and got excited about all of the things to do in Montreat. Eating ice cream at the Huckleberry, boulder bopping in the creek, and hanging out with cousins. However, the fun ended and the anxiety came back the next day as he jumped into the creek with his cell phone in his pocket. Goodbye phone. Normally I would count that as his loss, however, as he is traveling three more times on an airplane alone before I see him again, the phone is more important to me than just about anything else. I sent my phone in the mail to him the next day so that he can have it during travel.

Last night he called and asked if I packed his toothbrush. Now granted, that would have been an okay question, say maybe Thursday, Friday even. However he is on day five of his vacation and just now looking for his toothbrush. Ugh!! What do you do with that?

And then, just when I am feeling like this kid will never have any sense of order in his head, I get an email from one of Lowell's cousins detailing how great Joshua was this weekend with the kids. The cousin called him an angel and said, "if I could bottle his temperament and sell it, I would make millions. That kid's amazing and you should be so proud of him."

And then a lady at church tracked us down to tell us how much she appreciated Joshua's help at VBS. She said he always used good manners and was always willing to help her with whatever she needed, even though he wasn't assigned to her room. When the kids who were working with her were not helpful, she could find Joshua and know that he would smile, say "yes ma'am" and do whatever she asked of him.

And then I remember the little girl with Down Syndrome who Joshua completely fell in love with at VBS. We have worked with adults with disabilities his whole life and he has on many occasions expressed a fear that he will have a disabled child. He came to me with tears in his eyes after VBS and said that he knows that if God gives him a kid with a disability, it would bring joy to his life and that he is no longer scared of that.

And I know that this young man, with or without luggage, with a waterlogged cell phone, and with some nasty unbrushed teeth, is the best thing I've got going. And I know that he is absolutely remarkable just the way he is. And there is no way, even if I could, that I would ever change a thing!

The Quote of the Day

Working and living here, we hear some crazy statements. I have begun to text Lowell and a few other people the quote of the day. It's always good for a laugh, so I thought I might include some here as well.

Q of the D from cardiologist (said very nonchalantly) - "What's the worst that could happen? Sudden death, that's it."

From the guys -

"I think that the 12 month subscription lasts around a year or so. Maybe a little less, maybe more, but pretty sure it's around one year."

"You don't actually have to have a clutch in the car to be able to pop the clutch. I can tell you how sometime."

"The place I was before, you know in the hospital, they fed me three meals a day. That was nice." (I guess when the short-term memory is failing, you don't remember us slaving away in the kitchen preparing your meals!!!)

The no-short-term memory guys also lacks a bit of a filter in the things he says, for instance, he has this conversation with staff recently:

Staff: "Do you have your seat belt on?"
Him: "Yes, do you?"
Her: "Yes, I have mine on, but thanks for asking, because sometimes I forget."
Him: "Oh, I didn't know they made them that big."
(What's funny here is that she really isn't severely overweight, but yep, he went there with her!)

And then today (when one of the guys was sick):

Staff to sick guy: "Something is not right about you."
Mr. NoShortTermMem: "And you just now figured that out?"