Project Seven Days

So, I read several blogs where the authors take a photo every day and then at the end of the week, recap the week using the photos - with explanation of course. The idea is that you are taking pictures and documenting your daily life. They call this Project 365. I think it's a terrific idea, but just felt like the task was too ginormous for me to even attempt. However, I was visiting with my friend Lori, who I must say does an AMAZING job of keeping up with her blog even though she has four little ones at home, and she convinced me to give it a try for just a week and see what happens. Keep in mind this might be a lengthy blog because I have so much explaining to do. So here it is.

Sunday

One of our guys hasn't spoken to or seen his sister in over four years. We've tried to locate her, but to no avail. But out of nowhere she calls last week and wants to see him. She says she's so relieved to have found her "lost" brother. (Keep in mind that he has lived in the same town, being cared for by the same agency, and having the same phone number for 20 years. But he was the "lost" one.) Anyway, she asked for our staff to bring him to see her sometime over the weekend. We try and try to call to arrange a day/time but she doesn't respond. So on Sunday afternoon, our staff drives him to the address where she is staying. He calls one more time and she answers. When he tells her they are there she responds with, "not cool man, not &*^%#@* cool. But whatever, come on up."

So he's feeling real welcome about that time. But he goes in the apartment with the guy and sits on the couch. He then gets grilled about where we've had her brother and why hasn't she been able to find him. When he points out that she is the one who moved away, she drops that subject. Then she asks if she is the guardian. He said (being just weekend staff) that he wasn't sure who the guardian was. She jumped on him about why he didn't know. And he pointed out that it was her brother they were talking about and she didn't know either. He also told her that she would probably know if she were guardian as she would have had to sign papers and all.

Thinking it can't really get more uncomfortable, our staff was shocked when, as they were all sitting in the living room, the sister falls asleep on the couch. And then our guy falls asleep in his chair. So our staff is just sitting there in a stranger's apartment (a hostile stranger at that) and is the only one awake. He debates whether or not he should leave a note with his phone number on it and just slip out, but then decides that it probably wouldn't be leaving his client in the best hands. As soon as our guy woke up, he said he was ready to go home. To say our staff was relieved would be an understatement.

But before they left, she gave her brother a nice necklace.


Because it just isn't a family visit until somebody leaves with some Last Supper bling bling.


Monday

This is what time my alarm clock went off this morning. Joshua has swim team practice at 5:15 am. I don't really think I need to add more to that.



Tuesday



An appointment for a dental cleaning sounds like such a simple thing. I mean, I know there aren't many people who enjoy going to the dentist, but on the flip side, I don't know that there are many who require a couple Valium just to keep from beating the dentist up. I do happen to know one person who does though and I had the distinct pleasure of going with him today.

He goes to a pediatric dentist and unfortunately, the waiting room was full. I say unfortunately because I am betting the dentist lost a lot of business today. For almost an hour, there was a grown man (who was a tad loopy) showing everybody in the room his teeth and telling them that he was getting them cleaned. (Imagine a hippo yawning in your face and you'll have a good mental picture.) And then he was called back - I'm pretty sure we didn't have to wait as long as everybody else.

He sat in his chair and they leaned him back and the kicking and screaming started. We got it settled down pretty quickly. Not quickly enough for the three youngsters who looked completely horrified. I am thinking that when they planned for the big "all the children will get their teeth cleaned together" room, they weren't imagining this particular scenario. For certain today, they wished they had a separate, soundproof room. Especially when he yelled his infamous, "Need a bafroom. Ima pee myself!" (At least he didn't ask for a bucket...) I assured the hygienist that this was just a stall tactic and that she should continue on. She was nervous but took my word.

When she finally finished the cleaning, we waited for what seemed an eternity for the dentist to do his check. He asked me if were brushing his teeth for him at least once a day. Seriously?? I tried to explain that he isn't really down with that. He says, "He seems to be okay now with us doing it." And I explain that it's not him who is okay, it's the Valium talking. And he says, "Then just do it when he's asleep. You don't need toothpaste or water, just get a dry brush and brush them really good."

I just nodded and said we'd try that. But really???? Who isn't gonna wake up when somebody sticks a toothbrush in their mouth? And this isn't just anybody we are talking about. We are discussing doing this to someone who we already KNOW to be psychotic. But then again this is the dentist who has been known to share his ludicrous ideas with us in the past.

Wednesday

This is a picture of a pretty much everyday occurrence around here. You walk over to the guys' side of the house, look on top of the refrigerator and this is what you see:


Bowls. And they have food in them. Gross, right? One of the guys will finish eating but thinks he may want to come back for it later and sets his bowl on top of the fridge. And it's especially difficult for me because, as those of y'all who know me personally know, I'm not quite tall enough to pull things down off the top of the fridge without the threat of spilling it on my head. And A LOT of the time, the contents of said bowls are cereal and MILK, which is a whole other story because this particular guy doesn't think he has enough milk until the bowl is full to the very brim. (And it's just bowls, never plates. Odd huh?)

So I try and try to have conversations about not putting our bowls on top of the "icebox" and it makes me laugh every time I say, "When we are done with our food, we put bowls in the sink and not the icebox" because the only other people I've ever known to say "icebox" were my grandparents. And this guy isn't nearly as old as they are/were.

Thursday

So I walk out to go get into the van to pick up one of our guys and this awaits me. I stop for a minute and just watch before I realize I need both Lowell and a camera. I need Lowell to help resolve the situation and the camera to document what was going on.


These seats are HEAVY. And I mean heavy. Lowell and I have attempted to take them out of the van once before when we needed to make more room to transport something. And the two of us together failed miserably. But not this guy. And he didn't even have a valid reason for removing the seats. He said that one of them was broken and he didn't like to sit in it. (We've never noticed the brokenness, but hey, whatever.) So he had to take all three seats out to rearrange them. I had to leave before he could get seat 3 back in. Once he was done, he was done. He's not really willing to put seat 3 in now. Says it's too much work. So seat 3 is in the garage and this is what the van looks like now. And, yeah, it's a little awkward to ride in the back and have that much room between you and the driver. But you know, it's not a battle worth fighting.



Friday

Joshua got an iTouch. He loves it and so do I. I have been coveting an iphone for some time. This is working to appease that desire for now. Since he bought it with his own money, I usually have to wait for him to go to bed to use it, but that's okay. It was free for me, I don't mind the wait. Lowell doesn't get the appeal. He doesn't understand why I get so worked up playing Angry Birds or Dogs Playing Poker. He thinks I should try to do something to relax before bed. He refuses to play, so he will never understand. (And I certainly don't push it on him. If he got addicted too, I might never get my hands on it!)


Saturday

I spent all day on Saturday here.


I forgot my camera so copied this picture off the internet. I have to say that it is appropriate that the picture was taken in the dark however. We arrived at this swim meet when the sun was coming up and we left when it was going down. Need I say it was a loooooonnnnnggggg day for me? It was ridiculous really. I gained a whole new respect for coaches who have to stay at the meet all day, but then again, they are watching lots of swimmers. I was watching ONE. He was in the water a grand total of 13 minutes 47 seconds. I was sitting by the pool (on hard bleachers) for 10 hours. Actually we did leave for 20 minutes to grab lunch and I sat in the car for about 45 minutes. So maybe it was only 9 hours on the bleachers, but you get the drift. Not a fun day for this mother.

So there ya' go. My week in a nutshell. It was kind of fun finding things about each day to photograph. Not that I'll be doing that regularly, but maybe every now and then we can get a week in pictures.

And now you know the rest of the story...

On the days when grocery bagger works, Lowell picks him up from work and then gets Joshua from swim team. The conversation that goes on in the van between the three of them is always interesting and even Joshua has learned that it's best just to nod and say, "hmm, is that right?" even when he KNOWS good and well that whatever is being said is absolutely ludicrous.

But he comes home tonight and says, "It was quiet in the car so I thought I would talk about video games, so I asked [resident video game player] what do you think about the game Mortal Combat? I have several friends who really like it."

And the response went a little something like this: "Oh I don't like Mortal Combat. It's not very realistic. I like the Area 51 type games, you know where there are aliens and space creatures coming down to attack you and you have to fight them off. They have the best graphics and are much more realistic than the war-type games. Because you know our government has hidden the fact that there are aliens out there and we have to be prepared to fight them off. War games just aren't something we will ever have to be able to do. The only reason there was ever any war is because Hitler was kidnapped by that guy with the crazy hair, yeah Einstein, that's it and Einstein brainwashed Hitler to do all the things that he did. If he hadn't done that we'd never have war. But aliens, that's a whole other story."

And Joshua immediately regretted having brought it up. He just nodded, said, "oh, is that right?" and kept his mouth shut on the rest of the trip home.

The Draft in the Air

NFL Draft Weekend is a big deal in my house. Even back when Lowell and I were dating, I can remember that on draft weekend, I needed to have other plans. Or else I was sitting in front of the television for three days watching a bunch of college football players put on the designated baseball cap of their new team.

Over the years, I've come to a somewhat better understanding of what it's all about, even though I really think one could just read the picks in the paper the next day in about 15 minutes and not have wasted 6 hours the night before watching it live. But then again, I am certain I have spent time watching television programming that my husband wouldn't understand. So we just agree that Draft Weekend is a REALLY big deal and all the televisions in the house are his for three days.

I should have known the time was coming. Joshua was somewhat interested in the draft last year. This year the two of them are counting down the days, researching draft picks online, watching ESPN non-stop and centering a large majority of their conversations around who they think is going where. It's been some great father-son bonding time.

Thursday, April 22 at 6:30 pm is when it would all begin. And guess when the swim team awards banquet was scheduled. I don't even have to say do I? So for about three days, the big drama in the house was banquet or draft? Should we watch the draft live or DVR it with the great fear that some father at the banquet would be checking on his phone and spoil it all? Joshua's vote was draft hands-down. Lowell and I wobbled back and forth between, we really don't want to do to the banquet either, and he did make a commitment to the team and banquets are team functions, blah blah blah. I even posted a Facebook poll to get other opinions. (Most who voted, voted for the draft by the way). One person suggested asking him what he would be more likely to remember in a year, banquet or draft. He laughed and said, "Uh, draft!!!"

We had some staffing issues come up, and we were certain there would be no award for him, so we had a very happy little boy with his spread of notebook paper, snacks, and remote control in the living room. (And Lowell was glad to be watching the draft too, and I was glad not to be dressed up at a banquet, so all was well in our little world.)

Oh, but Friday rolled around and Joshua went to morning practice. He got in the car and handed me this:

Oh. Dear. He did NOT just win the Outstanding Swimmer of the Year Award. And he was watching the draft. And they called his name for his award. And he was watching the draft.

And I am thinking, well in one year he may remember the draft, and I will be remembering us NOT being at the banquet. And next year, I don' t care if they host the draft in our backyard, we WILL be at the banquet. (I mean, unless there is something on tv that I want to watch!)

He Wears a Size 36

One of our guys is a little short on clothing. He only has a few pairs of jeans and they each fall off of him, even when he wears a belt. We aren't sure if maybe he doesn't get the concept of the belt's purpose or what, but we are often reminding him to tighten up the belt and pull up the pants. At least once a day, we can expect to get an unintentional "full moon" from him.

So a couple of weeks ago, I decided to take him shopping for new jeans. Not being real sure how he would feel about trying things on or how cooperative he would be, I decided to take him to the local Goodwill store (we have a really good one) so that he could pick out some things and not spend a lot of money in case he decided never to wear them.

When we arrived in the "men's department" he said, "I need a size 36 because that's what these are, so that's what size I wear." I talked to him about the fact that his size 36 jeans fall down a lot and he may want to consider a 34. He just looked at me and said, "But I don't wear a 34, these are a 36. I guess that means I wear a 36." So I handed him a few pairs of jeans that were 36s and slid a 34 in and told him to go try them on.

Standing outside the dressing room, I hear him talking to himself about the fact that he wears a size 36 and not a 34 and he sees that one of the pair of jeans says 34 on it and he isn't going to try that on because he doesn't wear a 34. (I see a few people snickering about his soliloquy but I am not embarrassed at all because I am just thankful that he isn't yelling about needing a bucket to pee in - different guy by the way.)

Anyway, I let him go ahead and buy three pairs of jeans and five more shirts. He mentions on the way home that he'll need to add a laundry day to his schedule now that he has more clothes. I try my best to explain that just because he has more laundry doesn't mean he'll need to do laundry more often because he'll still be wearing the same amount of clothes that he is now, but that completely fell on deaf ears and now he just does laundry an extra day even though I'm not sure what he's washing because he certainly isn't changing clothes more often, but anyway.

So this was a couple weeks ago, and I mentioned this week that I haven't seen him wearing two of the new shirts he bought. He explained that he needed to go shopping for two more pairs of jeans before he could wear the shirts, because we didn't get a matching number of shirts and pants the last time we went and he can't wear the new shirts until he had jeans for them to "go with." I, again, tried to explain that he could mix and match and didn't need to have the exact number of jeans as shirts, and again, that fell on deaf ears.

So I guess we'll go shopping for two more pairs of jeans. And even though the 34 fits, the 36 is what he wears. I would be tempted to buy him a new belt too, but I worry we would need to have one for every day of the week.

Sod vs. Seed

So on the way home the other day with one of the guys, he says, "I sure wish we had a pool in the backyard." And then he proceeded to tell me how if he had a shovel and concrete and something to cut all the underground pipes, he could dig us a pool. (He goes into much detail here, that I will spare you from reading, but believe me, it was much detail.) When he finishes his monologue of how the pool will be built (complete with slide connecting to his bedroom window) he tells me that he even knows how to clean a pool. He figured out a way several years ago where you don't even need those silly expensive chemicals that they try to sell you at pool stores. All you need is some Tide detergent. The kind with the little blue crystals works best. It doesn't make your eyes burn. The pool will be clear down to the bottom, and you can even breathe in the water and it doesn't hurt your nose or lungs. Who knew?!?!? (And even as I write this, I wonder how I could just keep driving and nodding with the occasional "hmmm" without asking him if he'd been smoking crack.)

Anyway, the conversation went on along and somehow transferred over to how the digging of the pool would help out garden snakes and earthworms. (And no, I have NO idea where the segue was here). But he informed me that we have done the earthworms in our yard a big disservice by getting our yard sodded instead of seeded. You see, with grass seed, the earthworms can eat the "root of the soil" then they excrete it and create fertilizer. Well, when the landscaping people came and put down sod, we "essentially took away the earthworms' jobs". That's why they all came up to the surface of the yard and allowed themselves to be fried on the concrete. Because apparently if earthworms don't have enough to do to keep themselves busy, they just participate in a mass suicide.

So there ya' go. Now you, dear reader, have learned something new today.

Excuse the Delay

I know it's been a couple of weeks since I have posted, but things just really haven't been feeling all that funny lately and that leaves me uninspired. We deal with a lot around here, what with both the behaviors and the disabilities. And I think for the most part, we handle those things well. We know what we are getting into and we can generally see the humor in it; if not at the time, then almost always shortly thereafter.

But the things going on lately could not be categorized as disability or behavior. The only appropriate word to use is PSYCHOSIS. And it's really hard to laugh at psychosis. Certainly not at the time, sometimes the humor comes much after the fact, and sometimes not at all. So our last couple of weeks have been filled to the brim with the six-foot psychotic man.

So while not comical on the whole, there of course, is funny mixed in because of the dynamics of the home. And now that things are better (thank God for anti-psychotic medication), we are beginning to reprocess and find some of the funny. And since it's not easy, we are glad we wrote down some of the fun quotes that have been said in the house recently.

We have had a nasty cold make its way through the house and it has hit each of the guys. One of them continued to have a bit of a runny nose for several days. As we are sitting at the table, Psycho tells him to wipe his nose. He replies with, "I don't let people who punch me tell me when to clean my nose." I thought that was pretty well said, and it did make me smile. Although it didn't make me laugh out loud like I did the next time he was asked to wipe his nose and he replied with, "Okay, I will get a tissue now, but if you try to hit me again or complain one more time about my nose, I will have you charged with a hate crime against Mexicans!" Now how's that for a comeback if someone tells you that you need a tissue??

On another day, the cook in the house was making one of his always-nasty concoctions and says to me, "Did you know that if you add enough garlic to your food, it takes all of the calories out?" You can't argue, or even say what you're thinking - "I wish that were true", you just have to smile, nod and say, "Is that right? Hmmm." He said that line shortly after he said, "I've been thinking about going on the show, 'The Biggest Loser' because I tried it once and it didn't taste too bad."

Earlier in the week we had asked that same guy if he would mind taking a shower as we were noticing it had been a while since he had last taken one. He replied that he "would love to, but has no clean clothes to put on." I guess he was waiting on the laundry fairy to come to do his laundry. And personally, I was just too done with everything else from the week to even argue with that logic.

I think we are back to normal. Or at least to what we consider normal.

Grammar Made Easy

With a little help from the guys next door, I was able to give some great grammar examples to Joshua today.

One of the next doors woke up in a grumpy mood. We'll just call him "Bob" today. When "Joe" came out of his room for breakfast, Bob starts saying, "I hate Joe, gonna beat him up." We got Bob in another room and he seemed to calm some. But it wasn't long before Joe got up to get more cereal and Bob ran in the room and pushed him. He was quickly restrained from his physical aggression but continued to yell, curse, and threaten. We got him back into his room and gave him a little something to calm him down while Joe finished eating his Fruit Loops in as much peace as possible given the situation.

Once that Haldol kicked in and everything was okay, I came back over to our side to work on some school with Joshua. I could hear both Lowell and our day staff laughing as I was using examples such as, "If I say, 'Bob hit Joe' then Joe is the direct object. Hit who or what? Joe. So Joe received the action of the verb. If I say, 'Bob is crazy' then crazy is the predicate adjective because it describes Bob. If I say, 'Bob is a bully', then bully is a predicate nominative because it renames Bob."

I also used sentences such as, "The laundry room door is broken. It was pulled off its hinges."

It was good to use sentences that really apply to our everyday life. And guess what? Joshua understood perfectly. So sometimes living with a little crazy pays off!