Where'd You Guys Park?

Joshua is what many would call a "social butterfly." He doesn't meet a stranger and always makes a friend wherever he goes. Lowell and I aren't quite like that. So having lived here over a year now, this is essentially home to Joshua. Lowell and I still feel like we aren't quite sure where we belong, but Joshua is happy, so it's all cool.

Except for the thirty minute period after church when Joshua is busy socializing with his people while Lowell and I smile at some folks, shake the pastor's hand and are ready to leave. We either sit on the couch in the foyer looking awkward or we sit in the car while we wait for Joshua to finish and realize that we are waiting for him.

So a few weeks ago, after an exceptionally long period of waiting, we had a conversation about how we truly are glad he has lots of friends, but that it is really rude to just wander off and not tell us how long he will be gone or where he will be. He acknowledged this, and then the next week, the same thing happened. We again pointed out that not telling us where he is or how long he will be essentially puts him in charge of the family. We explained that we are fine with him talking to his friends but that he needs to discuss this with us first so that we are all on the same page and so that he can make sure he is not disturbing our plans. We are the parents, we are in charge. You expecting us to wait and us waiting puts you in charge. And that's just not okay. We explained that if it happened in the future, we were going to go on about our day and not take him into consideration just like he has done to us.

Well let me tell ya' what. Yesterday after church when Joshua bounced off to visit with his friends, Lowell and I shook the pastor's hand, got in the car and drove home. (Before you go calling DCFS, the kid is 14, we only live about 2 miles from the church, and he certainly knows enough people that he could bum a ride off of.) But I think it about shocked his shoes off thirty minutes later when he called and said, "Hey, where'd you guys park?" and he got the response "in the driveway."

The funny thing about him is that he wasn't mad at us. He indeed got a ride home from a friend of ours who thought it was the most hilarious thing. She said that Joshua kept saying, "they said they were gonna do that but I never really thought they would." He has assured us that next week, he'll be the first to the car. We told him that next time that happens, we aren't just coming home, we are going out to lunch too. For some reason, I think he believes us.

Water Water Everywhere

So things are rocking along as usual this morning, meaning one guy is sleeping, one is in his room watching tv and the other is persistently asking if it's time to go to work yet (he goes at noon). Our day staff arrived and was helping him pick out clothes for the day when she realized that he had no clean jeans. She opened the washing machine and noticed that it was full of clothes. They belonged to the guy who was upstairs sleeping who hadn't finished his laundry last night. So instead of waking him up, she took his clothes out of the washing machine and set them on the dryer so that she could wash the other guy's clothes. She planned to put the first load back in the washer when she was done and figured he would never know the difference. (And even if he DID notice, would it really even matter??)

And apparently, yes, it did matter. The next thing I know is that Mr. Upstairs woke up, heard the washing machine running and rushed down to see what was going on. He flings open the lid (of the running machine) and starts pulling all of the wet clothing out and throwing it on the floor. Once he empties the machine, of both the clothing and the water, he just stands there in about an inch of water in front of the machine. And he just stands there. And stands there.


I was hopping mad, but stepped out for a minute to calm down so I wouldn't yell and lose my job. I calmed enough to know that this would be funny later and thought to take a picture.

I tried to gather up the clothing but got a very threatening look and he slammed the top of the washing machine closed and held it closed, like "if I can't use it, nobody's gonna use it." So he won't move and we can't even begin to clean up the mess (that he made and technically should be cleaning up himself). Water is on the ground and is on the move. We watch it flow under the bathroom door and then on into both downstairs bedrooms. And he still doesn't move or say a word.

Our staff threatened that if he kept that up, she was going to call the police. (Can you just imagine that call? "He threw the clothes and water out of the machine and now he's just standing in the water not letting us clean it up.") We decided against that but I did call his father. He talked to him for a bit and tried to reason with him but that's when the shouting and cursing began. So his dad got on the phone with me and wanted to discuss the "root of the problem" being that the dryer is too slow and it takes too long to do laundry on the whole. I gently, or not so gently maybe, reminded him that the "root of the problem" has absolutely nothing to do with the appliances.

We eventually got everything cleaned up and everybody now has clean clothes. A couple of hours later, the guy did knock on my door and said, "Uh, yeah, I'm sorry about earlier. I probably could have handled that a different way."

Oh really? Ya' think????

It's What's For Dinner

So this was our dinner last night. If you can't tell from the picture, it's chicken nuggets, macaroni and cheese and alphabet-shaped tator tots. (And yes, I know it's not the healthiest dinner, but don't judge, we all have those "easy" dinner nights). Anyway, after the guys finished eating, I asked if they'd had enough and one says, "I'd like more." And I say, "Do you want more of everything?" And he replies, "Yeah, well, everything except corn. I don't really want more of that."

Hmmm. Still have no idea what he was talking about.

Project Seven Days

So, I read several blogs where the authors take a photo every day and then at the end of the week, recap the week using the photos - with explanation of course. The idea is that you are taking pictures and documenting your daily life. They call this Project 365. I think it's a terrific idea, but just felt like the task was too ginormous for me to even attempt. However, I was visiting with my friend Lori, who I must say does an AMAZING job of keeping up with her blog even though she has four little ones at home, and she convinced me to give it a try for just a week and see what happens. Keep in mind this might be a lengthy blog because I have so much explaining to do. So here it is.

Sunday

One of our guys hasn't spoken to or seen his sister in over four years. We've tried to locate her, but to no avail. But out of nowhere she calls last week and wants to see him. She says she's so relieved to have found her "lost" brother. (Keep in mind that he has lived in the same town, being cared for by the same agency, and having the same phone number for 20 years. But he was the "lost" one.) Anyway, she asked for our staff to bring him to see her sometime over the weekend. We try and try to call to arrange a day/time but she doesn't respond. So on Sunday afternoon, our staff drives him to the address where she is staying. He calls one more time and she answers. When he tells her they are there she responds with, "not cool man, not &*^%#@* cool. But whatever, come on up."

So he's feeling real welcome about that time. But he goes in the apartment with the guy and sits on the couch. He then gets grilled about where we've had her brother and why hasn't she been able to find him. When he points out that she is the one who moved away, she drops that subject. Then she asks if she is the guardian. He said (being just weekend staff) that he wasn't sure who the guardian was. She jumped on him about why he didn't know. And he pointed out that it was her brother they were talking about and she didn't know either. He also told her that she would probably know if she were guardian as she would have had to sign papers and all.

Thinking it can't really get more uncomfortable, our staff was shocked when, as they were all sitting in the living room, the sister falls asleep on the couch. And then our guy falls asleep in his chair. So our staff is just sitting there in a stranger's apartment (a hostile stranger at that) and is the only one awake. He debates whether or not he should leave a note with his phone number on it and just slip out, but then decides that it probably wouldn't be leaving his client in the best hands. As soon as our guy woke up, he said he was ready to go home. To say our staff was relieved would be an understatement.

But before they left, she gave her brother a nice necklace.


Because it just isn't a family visit until somebody leaves with some Last Supper bling bling.


Monday

This is what time my alarm clock went off this morning. Joshua has swim team practice at 5:15 am. I don't really think I need to add more to that.



Tuesday



An appointment for a dental cleaning sounds like such a simple thing. I mean, I know there aren't many people who enjoy going to the dentist, but on the flip side, I don't know that there are many who require a couple Valium just to keep from beating the dentist up. I do happen to know one person who does though and I had the distinct pleasure of going with him today.

He goes to a pediatric dentist and unfortunately, the waiting room was full. I say unfortunately because I am betting the dentist lost a lot of business today. For almost an hour, there was a grown man (who was a tad loopy) showing everybody in the room his teeth and telling them that he was getting them cleaned. (Imagine a hippo yawning in your face and you'll have a good mental picture.) And then he was called back - I'm pretty sure we didn't have to wait as long as everybody else.

He sat in his chair and they leaned him back and the kicking and screaming started. We got it settled down pretty quickly. Not quickly enough for the three youngsters who looked completely horrified. I am thinking that when they planned for the big "all the children will get their teeth cleaned together" room, they weren't imagining this particular scenario. For certain today, they wished they had a separate, soundproof room. Especially when he yelled his infamous, "Need a bafroom. Ima pee myself!" (At least he didn't ask for a bucket...) I assured the hygienist that this was just a stall tactic and that she should continue on. She was nervous but took my word.

When she finally finished the cleaning, we waited for what seemed an eternity for the dentist to do his check. He asked me if were brushing his teeth for him at least once a day. Seriously?? I tried to explain that he isn't really down with that. He says, "He seems to be okay now with us doing it." And I explain that it's not him who is okay, it's the Valium talking. And he says, "Then just do it when he's asleep. You don't need toothpaste or water, just get a dry brush and brush them really good."

I just nodded and said we'd try that. But really???? Who isn't gonna wake up when somebody sticks a toothbrush in their mouth? And this isn't just anybody we are talking about. We are discussing doing this to someone who we already KNOW to be psychotic. But then again this is the dentist who has been known to share his ludicrous ideas with us in the past.

Wednesday

This is a picture of a pretty much everyday occurrence around here. You walk over to the guys' side of the house, look on top of the refrigerator and this is what you see:


Bowls. And they have food in them. Gross, right? One of the guys will finish eating but thinks he may want to come back for it later and sets his bowl on top of the fridge. And it's especially difficult for me because, as those of y'all who know me personally know, I'm not quite tall enough to pull things down off the top of the fridge without the threat of spilling it on my head. And A LOT of the time, the contents of said bowls are cereal and MILK, which is a whole other story because this particular guy doesn't think he has enough milk until the bowl is full to the very brim. (And it's just bowls, never plates. Odd huh?)

So I try and try to have conversations about not putting our bowls on top of the "icebox" and it makes me laugh every time I say, "When we are done with our food, we put bowls in the sink and not the icebox" because the only other people I've ever known to say "icebox" were my grandparents. And this guy isn't nearly as old as they are/were.

Thursday

So I walk out to go get into the van to pick up one of our guys and this awaits me. I stop for a minute and just watch before I realize I need both Lowell and a camera. I need Lowell to help resolve the situation and the camera to document what was going on.


These seats are HEAVY. And I mean heavy. Lowell and I have attempted to take them out of the van once before when we needed to make more room to transport something. And the two of us together failed miserably. But not this guy. And he didn't even have a valid reason for removing the seats. He said that one of them was broken and he didn't like to sit in it. (We've never noticed the brokenness, but hey, whatever.) So he had to take all three seats out to rearrange them. I had to leave before he could get seat 3 back in. Once he was done, he was done. He's not really willing to put seat 3 in now. Says it's too much work. So seat 3 is in the garage and this is what the van looks like now. And, yeah, it's a little awkward to ride in the back and have that much room between you and the driver. But you know, it's not a battle worth fighting.



Friday

Joshua got an iTouch. He loves it and so do I. I have been coveting an iphone for some time. This is working to appease that desire for now. Since he bought it with his own money, I usually have to wait for him to go to bed to use it, but that's okay. It was free for me, I don't mind the wait. Lowell doesn't get the appeal. He doesn't understand why I get so worked up playing Angry Birds or Dogs Playing Poker. He thinks I should try to do something to relax before bed. He refuses to play, so he will never understand. (And I certainly don't push it on him. If he got addicted too, I might never get my hands on it!)


Saturday

I spent all day on Saturday here.


I forgot my camera so copied this picture off the internet. I have to say that it is appropriate that the picture was taken in the dark however. We arrived at this swim meet when the sun was coming up and we left when it was going down. Need I say it was a loooooonnnnnggggg day for me? It was ridiculous really. I gained a whole new respect for coaches who have to stay at the meet all day, but then again, they are watching lots of swimmers. I was watching ONE. He was in the water a grand total of 13 minutes 47 seconds. I was sitting by the pool (on hard bleachers) for 10 hours. Actually we did leave for 20 minutes to grab lunch and I sat in the car for about 45 minutes. So maybe it was only 9 hours on the bleachers, but you get the drift. Not a fun day for this mother.

So there ya' go. My week in a nutshell. It was kind of fun finding things about each day to photograph. Not that I'll be doing that regularly, but maybe every now and then we can get a week in pictures.

And now you know the rest of the story...

On the days when grocery bagger works, Lowell picks him up from work and then gets Joshua from swim team. The conversation that goes on in the van between the three of them is always interesting and even Joshua has learned that it's best just to nod and say, "hmm, is that right?" even when he KNOWS good and well that whatever is being said is absolutely ludicrous.

But he comes home tonight and says, "It was quiet in the car so I thought I would talk about video games, so I asked [resident video game player] what do you think about the game Mortal Combat? I have several friends who really like it."

And the response went a little something like this: "Oh I don't like Mortal Combat. It's not very realistic. I like the Area 51 type games, you know where there are aliens and space creatures coming down to attack you and you have to fight them off. They have the best graphics and are much more realistic than the war-type games. Because you know our government has hidden the fact that there are aliens out there and we have to be prepared to fight them off. War games just aren't something we will ever have to be able to do. The only reason there was ever any war is because Hitler was kidnapped by that guy with the crazy hair, yeah Einstein, that's it and Einstein brainwashed Hitler to do all the things that he did. If he hadn't done that we'd never have war. But aliens, that's a whole other story."

And Joshua immediately regretted having brought it up. He just nodded, said, "oh, is that right?" and kept his mouth shut on the rest of the trip home.

The Draft in the Air

NFL Draft Weekend is a big deal in my house. Even back when Lowell and I were dating, I can remember that on draft weekend, I needed to have other plans. Or else I was sitting in front of the television for three days watching a bunch of college football players put on the designated baseball cap of their new team.

Over the years, I've come to a somewhat better understanding of what it's all about, even though I really think one could just read the picks in the paper the next day in about 15 minutes and not have wasted 6 hours the night before watching it live. But then again, I am certain I have spent time watching television programming that my husband wouldn't understand. So we just agree that Draft Weekend is a REALLY big deal and all the televisions in the house are his for three days.

I should have known the time was coming. Joshua was somewhat interested in the draft last year. This year the two of them are counting down the days, researching draft picks online, watching ESPN non-stop and centering a large majority of their conversations around who they think is going where. It's been some great father-son bonding time.

Thursday, April 22 at 6:30 pm is when it would all begin. And guess when the swim team awards banquet was scheduled. I don't even have to say do I? So for about three days, the big drama in the house was banquet or draft? Should we watch the draft live or DVR it with the great fear that some father at the banquet would be checking on his phone and spoil it all? Joshua's vote was draft hands-down. Lowell and I wobbled back and forth between, we really don't want to do to the banquet either, and he did make a commitment to the team and banquets are team functions, blah blah blah. I even posted a Facebook poll to get other opinions. (Most who voted, voted for the draft by the way). One person suggested asking him what he would be more likely to remember in a year, banquet or draft. He laughed and said, "Uh, draft!!!"

We had some staffing issues come up, and we were certain there would be no award for him, so we had a very happy little boy with his spread of notebook paper, snacks, and remote control in the living room. (And Lowell was glad to be watching the draft too, and I was glad not to be dressed up at a banquet, so all was well in our little world.)

Oh, but Friday rolled around and Joshua went to morning practice. He got in the car and handed me this:

Oh. Dear. He did NOT just win the Outstanding Swimmer of the Year Award. And he was watching the draft. And they called his name for his award. And he was watching the draft.

And I am thinking, well in one year he may remember the draft, and I will be remembering us NOT being at the banquet. And next year, I don' t care if they host the draft in our backyard, we WILL be at the banquet. (I mean, unless there is something on tv that I want to watch!)

He Wears a Size 36

One of our guys is a little short on clothing. He only has a few pairs of jeans and they each fall off of him, even when he wears a belt. We aren't sure if maybe he doesn't get the concept of the belt's purpose or what, but we are often reminding him to tighten up the belt and pull up the pants. At least once a day, we can expect to get an unintentional "full moon" from him.

So a couple of weeks ago, I decided to take him shopping for new jeans. Not being real sure how he would feel about trying things on or how cooperative he would be, I decided to take him to the local Goodwill store (we have a really good one) so that he could pick out some things and not spend a lot of money in case he decided never to wear them.

When we arrived in the "men's department" he said, "I need a size 36 because that's what these are, so that's what size I wear." I talked to him about the fact that his size 36 jeans fall down a lot and he may want to consider a 34. He just looked at me and said, "But I don't wear a 34, these are a 36. I guess that means I wear a 36." So I handed him a few pairs of jeans that were 36s and slid a 34 in and told him to go try them on.

Standing outside the dressing room, I hear him talking to himself about the fact that he wears a size 36 and not a 34 and he sees that one of the pair of jeans says 34 on it and he isn't going to try that on because he doesn't wear a 34. (I see a few people snickering about his soliloquy but I am not embarrassed at all because I am just thankful that he isn't yelling about needing a bucket to pee in - different guy by the way.)

Anyway, I let him go ahead and buy three pairs of jeans and five more shirts. He mentions on the way home that he'll need to add a laundry day to his schedule now that he has more clothes. I try my best to explain that just because he has more laundry doesn't mean he'll need to do laundry more often because he'll still be wearing the same amount of clothes that he is now, but that completely fell on deaf ears and now he just does laundry an extra day even though I'm not sure what he's washing because he certainly isn't changing clothes more often, but anyway.

So this was a couple weeks ago, and I mentioned this week that I haven't seen him wearing two of the new shirts he bought. He explained that he needed to go shopping for two more pairs of jeans before he could wear the shirts, because we didn't get a matching number of shirts and pants the last time we went and he can't wear the new shirts until he had jeans for them to "go with." I, again, tried to explain that he could mix and match and didn't need to have the exact number of jeans as shirts, and again, that fell on deaf ears.

So I guess we'll go shopping for two more pairs of jeans. And even though the 34 fits, the 36 is what he wears. I would be tempted to buy him a new belt too, but I worry we would need to have one for every day of the week.